Selling with Story
How Kurt Vonnegut’s Writing Rules Can Transform Your Sales Strategy
Sales isn't just about pushing products—it's about telling a story. The best salespeople, like the best writers, know how to craft a narrative that hooks the audience and makes them care. Who better to borrow a few lessons from than the king of quirky, Kurt Vonnegut?
Vonnegut, with his biting wit and sharp storytelling, was a master at capturing attention and making people think. The great irony is, his rules for writing don’t just help writers—they're a secret weapon for salespeople. Whether you're trying to close a deal, spark interest, or simply get your foot in the door, Vonnegut’s approach can turn your pitch into something more than a tired sales spiel.
So, in the spirit of breaking molds and breaking rules, let’s look at how Vonnegut’s writing wisdom can change how you sell:
1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that they will not feel the time was wasted.
You know what people hate? Wasting time. You know what salespeople sometimes do? Waste time. Your first job in sales isn’t to talk; it’s to listen, and then offer value quickly. Every minute a prospect spends with you is time they could be doing something else—like solving their own problems or buying from someone else. So, make it count.
Think about Vonnegut’s rule: use the time of a total stranger wisely. In sales, this means stripping out fluff and giving them something that grabs them right away. Instead of the 3-minute company introduction, hit them with a question that digs into their pain points. Show them you know their world and can help them make it better.
Actionable Tip: The next time you're sending a cold email or making a call, start with, “I know you’re dealing with [specific problem]. How are you currently handling that?” Jump straight into what matters.
2. Give the reader at least one character they can root for.
Nobody wants to deal with a cardboard cutout of a salesperson. People want someone real, someone they can trust, someone they can root for. The best salespeople don’t just sell products—they sell themselves as the person who’s going to solve their prospect's problem.
So, be the character in your sales story. You’re not just a salesperson—you’re their ally. Make your prospect the hero of the story, and position yourself as their guide. Show empathy, show personality, show you care. It’s not about being slick; it’s about being human.
Actionable Tip: When talking to a prospect, don’t start by talking about your product. Ask them about their priorities and their goals. Position yourself as someone who wants them to win, and you’ll become the person they trust.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
In Vonnegut’s world, characters need desires, and in sales, your prospects are no different. They want something—maybe it’s efficiency, maybe it’s cost savings, maybe it’s innovation. But it’s always something.
Your job? Figure out what that “something” is. What’s keeping them up at night? What does success look like in their eyes? Once you know their deepest desires, you can frame your solution as the answer to their prayers.
Actionable Tip: Instead of pushing your product’s features, ask, “If you could wave a magic wand and solve one issue right now, what would it be?” Then, align your solution to that very issue.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.
Don’t waste time with empty words. Every interaction with a prospect should reveal something new about their business or move the deal forward. If you’re not learning, you’re losing, and if you're not pushing for next steps, you're just stalling.
So, next time you’re in a meeting or sending an email, ask yourself: Is this moving the conversation forward? Is this helping me understand their pain points or driving us closer to a decision? If not, it’s time to recalibrate.
Actionable Tip: Before your next call, come up with two questions: one to learn more about their challenges and one to push for the next step. “Can you share what’s been your biggest obstacle in reaching [goal]?” and “What’s the next step we can take to help you overcome that?” are good starting points.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
This one’s gold for sales. You don’t need to start at the beginning of the story; start where the action is hottest—right near the end. In sales terms, this means focusing on outcomes, not backstory. Your client doesn’t care about your company’s founding in 1999. They care about how your product will make their life easier today.
Instead of setting the stage with too much preamble, cut to the chase. What’s the result they’re after? What problem do they need solved, and how can you help them solve it? Start there.
Actionable Tip: When you begin a presentation, skip the long-winded intro. Instead, say, “Here’s what you’ll be able to do once we implement this solution...” and let the benefits do the talking.
6. Be a sadist. Make awful things happen to your leading characters so the reader can see what they are made of.
This doesn’t mean you need to be mean. But it does mean you should highlight the consequences of inaction. What happens if they don’t choose your solution? Will they lose money, time, or fall behind competitors? Don’t be afraid to remind your prospect of what’s at stake.
In sales, people are often more motivated by the pain of loss than the pleasure of gain. If your prospect doesn’t act, what will they lose? This isn’t scare tactics—it’s helping them understand the urgency of the decision they’re facing.
Actionable Tip: Ask, “What’s the potential cost of not solving this issue?” Follow up with real data that shows the risks of delaying action.
7. Write to please just one person.
In sales, you are never talking to a generic prospect—you are talking to the actual human being sitting across from you. Whether you’re dealing with a CTO obsessed with tech specs or a CFO who loses sleep over budgets, your pitch should speak directly to their unique concerns. People want to feel understood, not lumped into some generic customer mold.
It’s not about covering all your bases. It’s about hitting their target. By customizing your message, you show that you aren’t just selling a product—you’re solving their problem.
Actionable Tip: Do your homework. Find out what’s keeping this specific decision-maker up at night, and make sure your pitch addresses that—not some broad, one-size-fits-all issue.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible.
There’s no need for suspense in sales. Prospects don’t want to be kept in the dark about pricing, timelines, or how your product works. The more open you are, the more trust you build.
Don’t hide the ball—lay it all out on the table. Your prospect should walk away from every interaction with a complete understanding of how you can help them, how much it costs, and when they can expect results.
Actionable Tip: Be transparent about pricing early. If you’re afraid of bringing up costs, you’re probably focusing too much on price and not enough on value. Be confident in the value you’re providing and share the details upfront.
Sales Is Storytelling, So Tell a Good One
At the end of the day, sales is about telling a story that resonates. It’s about making your prospect the hero and showing them how your product is the solution to their challenges. Kurt Vonnegut’s advice isn’t just for writing novels—it’s a blueprint for crafting a sales narrative that hooks your audience and drives them to act.
So, next time you’re crafting a pitch, remember to start at the end, give them something (or someone) to root for, and, most importantly, make sure every second of their time feels like it matters. After all, sales—like good writing—is about making a connection that leaves a lasting impact.
And hey, if a few cockroaches eat the last page of your story, make sure your prospect already knows how it ends.